I have tears in my eyes… 3 years ago I was on a 6 hour long horror trip on mushrooms and the 2 years after that I went through recurring episodes of heavy anxiety and panic attacks. The feeling of unreality you describe and welcoming death is something I can relate to so much. I thought I was done with it after 2 years, but 5 months ago it came back to the surface again. The thing is I have learned so much about life and myself and much like you I started helping others and started writing articles on medium. But the problem was that I somehow thought I could go back to normal, work in busy freelance projects, follow mindless activities, drink more alcohol than I should… Easily preventable, but life had more lessons ready for me. I started taking anti anxiety meds now and woke up last night with a crazy panic attack. Almost like being back on the shrooms, just that I knew how to handle it this time. Reading your article was the best thing I could do today. Would love to talk in person! Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤