Become the new You by adopting this growth strategy.
In my role as a coach and mentor for change, I often encounter resistance to change. Many people struggle with depression, burnout, or a sense of purposelessness in their lives, and believe that there is a quick and easy solution to their problems. While the metaphor of Morpheus offering the magic pill is appealing, I understand that true life change requires more extreme measures.
Recently, I started working with a new client who shared an interesting approach to overcoming obstacles in his career. He revealed that whenever he encountered a roadblock, he would simply change direction and do the opposite. For instance, he previously built a technical consultancy for large corporations, but found it to be a dispiriting experience like being a cog in a soulless machine. He decided to pivot and started experimenting with creating his own probiotic drink, fueled by his passion for health and nutrition.
When his company became more commercially focused, he encountered a similar issue. He felt that not only was the focus on selling products, but also the realization that he was essentially constructing his own golden cage. He yearned for freedom and thus, made another sudden change by becoming a freelance consultant.
He came to me seeking guidance on how to move forward with his career, feeling lost and uncertain, worried that his perceived indecisiveness was hindering his progress. Given my own experience of how drastic changes brought success in my life, I tried to help him understand the beauty in his approach. He was following his heart, even though he considered himself to be highly rational. Most people wouldn’t have the courage to make such bold moves, and I emphasized this to him.
We all have habits and routines that make up “the matrix” of our daily lives. They put us on autopilot and make it more likely to have the same experience rather than experiencing something new. Change is a dangerous endeavour to our brains. However, sometimes these routines can hold us back from reaching our full potential.
In a classic episode of Seinfeld, George, decides to try a new approach to life by doing the opposite of what he would normally do. All of a sudden his life turns around and he’s changing from Donald Duck to Gladstone Gander. Always happy, always lucky. This idea of “the opposite” can also be applied to our own lives to help us experience something “more” and reach greater success.
One of the biggest obstacles to personal growth is rigid thinking and fear of change for the sake of fake security. Most people mistake comfort for security, but who says that having a meaningless job and spending time on the couch is “safe”? It could very well mean that you’re dying prematurely due to depression and the following psychosomatic chronic health conditions.
True security can only be found in uncertainty. Life is uncertain and the more you expose yourself to it voluntarily and learn how to deal with it, the more you will learn how to trust yourself and life. The more you will understand that there’s nothing you can’t handle. This is pure anti-fragile security. All else is just like disinfection spray. Making you weaker rather than stronger.
People with a fixed mindset often have a negative outlook on life and limit their potential for happiness and success. Research has shown that those with a fixed mindset are more likely to suffer from depression and lead less fulfilling lives.
By changing up our routines and adopting the opposite strategy, we can break free from our rigid thinking and develop a growth mindset. A growth mindset is characterized by a positive outlook on life and a willingness to learn and grow. People with a growth mindset are more likely to be happy and successful in their personal and professional lives.
So, how can you apply the opposite strategy to your life? Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Identify your habits: Take a close look at your daily routines and habits. Are there any that are holding you back?
- Choose an area to focus on: Pick one area of your life that you want to improve and focus on it first. For example, if you’re an introvert, try being more extroverted. Sign up for a Salsa class or go to a meet-up once a week and talk to people.
- Do the opposite: Start doing the opposite of what you would normally do in that area. This can be scary, but it’s also a great way to break free from old patterns and develop new habits.
- Be open to new experiences: When you start doing the opposite, be open to new experiences and opportunities that come your way. You may be surprised at how different your life can become.
The first reaction to certain situations is one of self protection most of the time. It is a habitual protection from pain that you can overrule. Why we avoid conflict, why we suppress our desires, why we are so willing to tolerate problems instead of confronting them. Our attraction to the status quo. We don’t want to feel pain of any kind. That’s the thing we are after that looks like safety, that feels like safety, that’s a proxy for safety, but that isn’t safety. Freedom from pain.
Just take a step back and ask yourself “Is this how I want to experience this situation?” If the answer is no, try to do the opposite, even if it means that you’re making a fool out of yourself (or you only think you are).
By adopting the opposite strategy, you can become a better person, increase your happiness and success, and develop a growth mindset. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. You never know what amazing things can happen when you start doing the opposite.
